Sunday, July 18, 2010

A most unusual dinner party

I promised one of my closest friends that i would host a dinner party for her and her mum and two of her friends. So i decided seeing that a lot in here absolutely love curry's and are going through a curry stage (including making their own curry paste). that a dinner party would be in order. now to give you an idea of the strange eclectic mix that were coming. My closest friend who is studying mental health, her mother who supports her daughter and in turn takes in many people who need support to get back on their feet, my friends partner who has been diagnosed with all sorts of disorders and who thinks hes a multiple and my friends friend who has recently been diagnosed by a expert in our state of having D.I.D. And then of course there was us.

Enter party i mix cocktails and pre starters, my friends partner immediately starts with his performance. Now i dont say that lightly, it seems he likes attention and thinks that switching is a good way of getting it, suddenly this quiet guy became what seemed to be some gay guy of sorts then switched to someone else and then so on and so forth. Now by this stage we are eating the first course which was curry laksa and fish, friends partner is clapping hands saying in his high gay voice oh this is soooo amazing, friends other friend is sitting there looking at bowl saying i no like fish, friend say well try it and see and i have to admit im rolling my eyes whilst friends mothers giggling at the faces im making.

Exclamations of wow this is so nice is followed by what i can only describe as the most irritating display of show offishnes that i have ever seen. Somewhere along the mix i think friends partner with friends friend must have made some unknown pact on who can get most attention whilst switching. Now let me give you an idea i think friends partner isnt a multiple but out of habit tries his best to maintain something that isnt true, ive been saying the same thing for a year and his psych at no point has said hes D.I.D, although friend just cant seem to get her head around that so goes on like he is. Now otter friend by this stage is going all over the place as far as switching and i have never in my life had to do this. I raised my hand and said ENOUGH one person one topic at GODDAM ONE TIME. That seemed to stop proceedings and thankfully the switching stopped, well for then anyway.

Somehow i ended up alone at the dining room table with friends friend who is a diagnosed multiple when suddenly im having a conversation with the host of that system. Now to feel like i was talking to Amelia was an understatement, she kept saying i want them all gone i want the drugs to make them go i just want this nightmare over. And for the first time i knew that my heart had changed. I understood her plea for the pain the stop and i understood because i have spent so much time with Amelia i understand how she felt and i felt i was talking to Amelia all over again. Well cut a long story short we got onto safe places inside and this alter said she didnt have one and when she tried to get some sace some alters found her and shoved her out and at times she didnt even know where she was. Well that damn ell struck a familiar yet painful chord, Didnt we do exactly the same with Amelia, we hurt Amelia deeply because of our misuse of her and her feeling. My heart went out to this host and her predicament. Ans i have to admit that i did something i normally wouldnt do, together we created a new safe place that i knew no one could track her with. She looked tired and i know a tired host is a dangerous one so with encouragement i helped her find a safe place that couldnt be seen by those who were obviously tormenting her. Perhaps this was a part of me that had wished i had treated Amelia with more respect and understood her need for safety and space. Well i left the host later in her safe place and waited at the table to see how would emerge.

Suddenly i was facing a mini me, her stance was stand offish, rude and certainly arrogant. I looked curiously at her and realised that not so long ago this was how i presented, i sort of wiggled in my chair at seeing her was like looking at me and was embarrassed. So this alter looked at me and said where she go, and i went who and she said host and i went dunno why, and this alter is staring at me going cause the stupid bitch is supposed to be here, and i wryly smiled and went well she aint. This alter then went on a tyraid about what she thought of the host and it wasnt complimentary, and i smiled again as it reminded me of the relationship between deshanti and Amelia and how she also said the same things about Amelia. So it seems this alter wasnt getting what she wanted from me and the next thing you know the lips curling and growl is escaping from ehr mouth. I leaned back took a sip of champagne and went ohhhhh lookie we have an animal at the table. It seemed my non plussed attitude isnt something that this alter has faced before and made her even madder. I got up and went i dont talk to alters that growl so im going to sit down elsewhere. Through out the next two hours this alter growled and hissed at me whilst i ignored her.

The party kept going as it would with main course served and conversation kept away multiplicity. Towards the end this alter it seeemd felt she wasnt getting enough attention from switching to three year old to a adult to this alter that hissed. At one point this alter turned to me and i know who you are you know and i went yeh like i care ( she was referring to i presume sam cause she said a few other things). Well it seemed that didnt work either cause a few minutes later this alter had decided she had enough and tried to walk home. By this stage id had enough and said ok nights over. My friend gave me a hug and said how much she loved me and appreciated the night etc etc, i suggested that they take this alter home and put her bed and not communicate with her until morning.

So i put my feet up and thought about what had gone on when the phone rang, it was my friend saying that the alters were still looking for host and would i talk to her. I sighed and went yep, sop this alter gets on phone and says where is host and i went obviously not coming back whilst you treat her like shit, this alter have a few expletives to which i said goodnight. Spoke to friend and hung up phone. The night was filled with strong dreams, dreams of the darkness of night and the horrors within it.

Sa'de

3 comments:

  1. Sounds like you had a difficult night Sa'de...it's hard being around people that are in the begining stages of their journey and those who make a game of being a multiple. I'm not suprised your sleep wasn't peaceful but I'm proud of you for having a dinner party!

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  2. ... difficult.

    Would you mind and give the menue order?

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  3. Sorry that your dinner party turned out this way. I can sure understand if it triggered some things. Hope you're doing better now.

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