Monday, October 25, 2010

Communion, an alter filled with light and blending

We had therapy today. we had just finished a class and as usual raced to therapy. michael ended up out and that as always is interesting. But i wanted to share some components of a very packed and deeply moving therapy session. but first of all there are very few people that know anything about us. We dont have the list of numbers to call on the wall, often your comments are the only interaction we have between therapy sessions. So i know we are often so busy that we cant see your blogs as often as we used to but we want to thankyou for anyone who comments and gives us that interaction, it reminds us we arent alone.

i think sometimes when you choose to take yourself out of your comfort zone and go somewhere else (as in a different setting ) for therapy it often elicits different discussions/alters and responses. Today we met in a church, now for many that is triggering for us its comforting. We has asked Noel to meet with us and give communion. What hed written was moving and very important for our alters to hear. It was about life without condemnation and knowing about letting go. The conversations that ensued were poignant of the week before.

Again i wont be sharing what was discussed but i can say that we have learnt the power of one alter sharing her story with another. In this case a very rare Sally moment happened. No sally is like our internal angel she is so gentle so calming she often is the mother within the system. Her gentle and kind demeanor is both reflective and strangely different. Ive often watched Sally and wondered how such a gentle soul entered our system and remain as beautiful as she is. I guess after Sally spoke to Rachel today im left wondering many things.

Sally spoke about healing with touch. But she said something so very powerful that neither noel nor rachel picked up on but we did. sally said when i held them i prayed for them and they got healed. I sat there quietly wondering a few things firstly who was this gentle angel who knew in hr life how to pray in amongst a world of such darkness. I had never heard her share some of her story before and was touched by her candidness and maturity in her journey. Then secondly i wondered is it possible that god keeps a part of him inside people like us and they emerge as alters. because today i wondered if the purity of god was living inside Sally. Ive always believed that people like us god keeps a part of hope somewhere is Sally's gods gentle hope left for us is his way of telling us hes always been there.

Then i learnt a new moment, We had an alter talking about cutting and how when the secrets get shared she has to cut to shut everyone down and stop it all. She talk about a terrible headache that is only relieved by self infliction, telling me two things, firstly shes programmed and secondly in her case i truly believe something (whatever that is) is attached to her. I think when she was talking today she was trying to find a way to seek help but feeling like shes going to get punished she did it the only way she could.

Because of this i feel maybe its time (like rachel suggested) to go back to mr wonka and see him. When it comes to self infliction hes got the expertise and i think now its time to strategies and make sure all bases are covered. So i will see if i can make and appointment to see him. I think this will also help enhance the work we are doing with rachel

And finally the most moving moment of all straight after communion, which i know a few alters partook in. Ebony looked at Rachel and said im ready to leave its time. Now i know for many multiples alters blending isnt as noticeable but for us it seems to be a significant event. I think thats important for us to see. So ebony looked at rachel and said i am ready, i think I was shocked at how at peace she looked this wasnt a at peace it was a im going home peace. I was the look of ive done all i can and now im leaving and its right. She gently thanked Rachel for her time in helping her heal and as Noel prayed she stood in front of jessica and as the embraced she disappeared. And we cried for a moment in time when we know what had happened was true and correct to the exact moment. A moment of blending had occurred and we truly feel a moment of peace and completeness it is a good feeling.

Sa'de

3 comments:

  1. Your healing is a true miracle in progress. I'm glad you are feeling come completeness and peace. This has been a great year for you. May you continue to heal as the days go by and get everybody stories out.

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  2. You guys are amazing. I am so proud of all of you for helping Ebony reach a point where she was willing to join the common cause of healing as a group. What a wonderful miracle.

    We were really touched by this:

    "Then secondly i wondered is it possible that god keeps a part of him inside people like us and they emerge as alters. because today i wondered if the purity of god was living inside Sally. Ive always believed that people like us god keeps a part of hope somewhere is Sally's gods gentle hope left for us is his way of telling us hes always been there."

    For us, that would be Windy. She blushes to hear that, but it is true. she exists because so many time we would stare out of the window, dissociating into the wind in the trees, begging for wind because we believed that if we could just see wind we would believe that God was watching over us. And with us in that moment. It gave us peace. So windy was born, true evidence inside of the hope and presence he could provide. We appreciate hearing this about your system; it reminds us that we are not just living on pipe dreams. I don't know if that makes sense. It does to us.

    You guys are such an encouragement. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.

    <3--us from Journal of healing.

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  3. thank you for sharing your life with us Sa'de...you are not alone.

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