Sunday, October 10, 2010

im pretty mad about all this


So what am i missing am i the only sane person in all this. Lets get this right. My ex stupid dickhead husband got in his car whilst being over the limit drove his car drunk in the pouring rain speeding around a bend and smack bang into a tree. So what am i missing , why the fuck does he get the sympathy vote. HE WAS FUCKING DRUNK HE IS INJURED HE FUCKING DESERVES IT DONT SEND HIM SYMPATHY CARDS SEND HIM A CARD WHICH SAYS YOU COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE YOU SELFISH FUCKING BASTARD.

Where is my sympathy vote i am now left with the children seven days a week until whenever. Why is that the person doing the right thing doesnt get recognition and this dickhead does. I am now studying four days a week on the job training for one and working for two, that's goddam seven days a week whilst juggling five children alone seven days a week. Probably the most upsetting thing is no one has called since they heard about him and his accident no one has called saying shit are you going to be ok. Well guess what world i feel overwhelmed suffocated and scared. I dont know how im going to juggle this all without a break. Maybe i need to get behind the wheel of a car and drive drunk because it seems that is what makes people notice you.

On top of that his mother spoke to me telling me why it is all my fault why ive caused all this for her beloved son, that now because i left him and am a cruel botch it is MY JOB TO MAKE HIM BETTER. FUCK YOU BITCH I HATE YOU MORE THAN IV E EVER EVEN HATED ANYIONE FOR A LONG TIME, YOU ARE A TOXIC EVIL LONELY FUCKING COW I HATE HATE HATE YOU.

There is only one friend who knows what he did was deliberate, this was a deliberate sabotage on my life. I knew it was coming train wrecks are easy to see coming. the day before i start my first job in fifteen years he does what he does you bet it was fucking deliberate. And i know another thing i dislike him so much that i have seriously thought of organising the lawyer to get the divorce papers Oto him this week. Im done completely done.

When he leaves hospital he will stay at his parents and you know what i cant be fucked calling to see how he is. Imagine if it was different imagine if my five children were in his car when he drove into a tree. So why is it because he was the only casualty he gets the sympathy vote. Without being mean as far as im concerned anyone that gives a drunk a sympathy card when he is a alcoholic refusing to seek help is an enabler. In his mind it will tell him what he did was ok. And for the record his older kids know that he was drunk behind the wheel of a car, i have told them because im sick of people protecting alcoholics i hope that because of this experience my kids will never drink and drive. And another thing what about the poor pedestrian that pulled him out of the car how the fuck does he/she feel.

The only consolation is that a few things he will lose his licence he wont be insured and will have to pay back a debt on a car thats undriveable because over here you drive and you are drunk you are uninsured. AND FINALLY I HOPE HE SUFFERS BADLY FOR THE SUFFERING HE HAS INFLICTED ON HIS FAMILY FOR COUNTLESS YEARS DUE TO HIS ALCOHOLISM. i HATE HIM AND CANT WAIT FOR THE DIVORCE HE HAS BEATEN US TO THE END. FUCK YOU.

Marrikkah

6 comments:

  1. I am so sorry Marrikkah...You guys have come this far. i'm praying for support people to help each of you get through this.

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  2. You didn't cause it for him. The only one that caused it for him was himself by making the decision to get behind the wheel drunk.

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  3. I hear you. The members of our society have such a twisted sense of logic. I agree with you - he chose to drink and drive, he knew he shouldn't be driving - I think driving drunk is a deliberate act of self harm (even in an attempt to hurt you). You definately have my sympathy vote.

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  4. Thinking of you.

    Sympathy for you in having to deal with all this- while he gets waited on hand and foot.

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  5. I'm thankful the children were and are with you.

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  6. Marrikkah. I fucken hear your anger, and your desire for justice. I get it. I hear you, and just think it's pretty sweet you trusted all us with your feelings. hang tight, ok? Hoping ya'll get some relief somehow with such a damn full schedule.

    later. Brandee n Mia from Journal of Healing

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