An update of our life of sorts.

So where to start...............

We didnt mention in our last blog that we will also continue to juggle full time schooling with part time work. The work im doing is from 7 am till 2 pm saturday and sunday. its a 60 bed placement for high needs patients at a nursing home. With training provided i have been offered a job they cant fill over at the non high until 70 bed hostel as head chef at weekends. This is high money and better prospects, so after i got over the initial nerves and shock that the manager who happened to walk into me being interviewed had offered me this job, i will work my way toward it really fast. I have cooked for 100 kids on camps before so this isnt a new thing, i can do it and just haveto get my confidence up to doing it. Although this job is part time it has huge prospects with ovetime and time and a half of being a great career choice and now we can have two jobs we love, cooking and working with the elderly.

Alas the only draw back has been the lack of babysitting available for weekends. I still have twins that are 8 and a 9 year old that need some care. But yesterday came the perfect solution. the girl i attend school with has offered to have the kids when work and i will have hers when shes is at placement at the restaurant at achool. This is a perfect arrangement for me as there are no child care fees and she can also find work later on herself. As she wants to work in a restaurant. In a few weeks will be xmas holidays anyway and with that comes school Holiday program so there isnt an issue for my kids care. But in the interim thats the best solution.

The only problem has been the ex husband. I hinted a few weeks ago that getting a job was on the cards and i knew then that there might be some opposition from him to that. And as soon as ive got the job hes sure bucked up a bit. The green eyed monster in him has once again showed its head. the one thing that my ex in his mind still had over me was that he earned a lot of money and i was on welfare. In his mind if he could keep It that way then eventually id get sop sick of being poor and come back to him. now with me getting a job and maybe in three to four months earning good money and no more welfare needed he isnt in the same position anymore, in his mind this was the last thing that he had that i might need and now its gone. So he stood at the doorway the other night and told me that he didnt know when he could have to kids because HIS work needed him more than my work. I told him that when it was his weekend for having the kids he needed to make arrangements that were suitable for care, when it was my weekend i had to do the same. he looked at me narrowed his eyes and said you have friends dont you well that is what they are good for.

I said no they are not they are my friends not yours and arent there to sort out your babysitting issues. I told him ask your family he simply looked at me and said no, so i said what happened if you dont pick up the kids then and he says i dont care its your problem not mine. I was seething, he was pullign this fast one the moment my life showed another improvement, he always did this, his own jealously did this. He wanted me to falter maybe even not take the job, but hahahahah to him i simply found another way, and hes left looking like a doofus. For me ive given up everything to mind the children we had, i left a career and have stayed at home raising five wonderful amazing polite and intelligent children. for a long time we weren't well enough to work, but now we are its our time to shine and our ex being a shit wont take that away from us.

Im finding that with our system working more cohesively together we are now finding the most difficult situations easier to deal with. We are finding our wellness also draws out the most unwell people into our life LOL. Yesterday we attended a birthday party and we went up to a complete stranger and shook hands and asked how they were suddenly she was sharing this long elongated story of woe to us. Of course as in any victim most of what she was saying was self generated. At the end when she left she placed her hand on my arm and said thank you for listening, you are such a welcoming person. I smiled and said thanks. Over the last year or so we have changed our stance our look and our demeanour. we dont stand in a unapproachable way anymore and in many ways we find the most interesting of people because of it.

In therapy we are still doing the hard yards but its different this time. This time around its to put away all the trauma to get on with life whereas with Acnatha it was always to keep hold of it. We find that the system are learning its far less painful without the secrets than with them. that the cult are holding onto the fact that the littles will keep the secrets, but as each bit of healing occurs our life is changing and with it comes fresh air and more space and with that comeshunger to get better. We have also finally founded a therapist that isnt inot the fact adn figures and doesnt consider leaving her client in crisis an option. Rachel offers us a chance to think about what we can do to change things not tell us how to do it. The healing is coming fast because its therapy as a choice instead of an ordeal.

Life is finally becoming the amazing journey it should always have been. No moment in our life is now wasted, every moment important. We are finally doing it. living it and even at moments loving it.

jip-etal