Such tradgegy

Today was therapy, in the last few days has been the first moments of anger. The disgust at missed chances to be seen and helped and a system that failed my sister and i in more ways than they could ever know.

there were so many clues that told the world we were being abused. But alas i was born twenty years too early. In 1970 the belief was that parents were doing their best and that children were still to be seen but not heard. So many parents got away with terrible abuse of their children, but i still cant help but shake my head and wonder how my abuse was so ignored.

In prep (aged 5) we did a picture, it was black and red and yellow it showed people in clokes walking in a field. Our teacher yelled at us for not using more colours and using such darkness. We werent allowed to draw for a week because we didnt do happy pictures.

Same year our mother thought she would teach us a lesson and would send us to school soaked in urine. We smelt and the teacher would get mad sniffing the air saying i smelt like a bad horrible girl. People around me wouldnt sit with me because i smelt of stale urine. The reason i smelt was because i was too scared to go the toilet in the middle of the night and so peed my bed instead. Eventually the teacher called my mum and she didnt send me to school in that state again , my mum simply said that i was always messy in the toilet and had made myself disgusting. After that the teacher would stand in an open cubicle making sure i did a wee properly without spoiling myself. We wet the bed until we were 11 and the doctor prescribed drugs for us that made us ill but they seemed to work. The terror of nightly toilet trips didnt though.

In the same way we had endless infections. For years we suffered terrible itchy awful thrush. we tried to to tell but mum would find us itching and suddenly a creme would have to applied by them and so the nightmare continued.

Same way we had a discharge more creme needed.

we had continual urine infections, same doctor same medicine.

We had memory losses.

Often our glasses were removed before we went to school so we often squinted and were picked on as part chinese and stupid at school (im neither Chinese nor stupid)

We fell asleep in school and was labelled mentally retarded.

Our parents got away with it because they could and they were the poor parents that adopted the unwanted child who was unruly and needed a good seeing to. They continued to get away with this for the next 20 years.

As for the rest of the session i cant share it right now. its a bit raw and in the healing process but i know the alter who spoke is relieved her nightmare is over, for the rest of us we are recovering.

Jip-etal