safety at home.

last night i heard an alter say when we were in bed how big and warm our bed was, how safe in our bed they felt, how safe in our bedroom they felt. The other day we were telling rachel that for us in our new home, a home we have just got another years lease on we have made our bedroom our completely safe space. When we moved we took what little we could put in the back of a u haul and there est we had to buy ourselves.

doing this gave us for the first time in A long time ownership of our own space. So we bought a new bed we bought on eBay new furniture and we created a space and comfort that was ours. Oh don't get me wrong we share it with of course five children who like to sneak into our bed to turn on the electric blanket and watch tv, but in amongst those moments the children respect that our bedroom is our space as we respect their bedrooms is theirs.

Our bedroom consists of many personal items, doona covers that reflect light and fun, our bed covers are always light and bright, oranges.yellows, tangerines, purples, pinks, light blues, bright pinks. All reflections of the safety of the light we need to feel in order to get into bed at night. In our parents house we had Doona covers that were dull and lifeless often dark in colour probably to not show up the blood and stains of trauma. Our bedroom at our parents house was untouchable, ornaments for show only no hands to touch. If we did touch she knew it and would usually find some punishment to condemn us with. a few broken fingers usually taught fast is never to touch.

In contrast our bedroom here consists of a bed made, all beds in our house are made before we leave the house every day. In the parents house a made bed meant no pain, mum had a rule once a bed was made it couldnt be unmade until nightfall. So if there was a unmessy bed at home where we grew up it always signalled danger and usually meant she had left it unmade for us to get hurt in. So made beds are safe for us. On our bed are fluffy pillows and four teddies all guarding our space. Jane, Livvy, Rupert and Spencer all sit proudly on our bed. thurtle the turtle hangs from our bed at the bottom, rat in the hat on a small stand near the window and tessie our real doll finds her way around the room each day depending on which alter has played with her. Our mirror in our bedroom is adorned with pictures of our five amazingly wonderful children, it also has ornaments given from friends. We have a fairy book also on the table. Just under the window lies all our books in a neatly stacked bookcase.

Our books consists of many enid blyton to little miss and mr men books to teddy town top harry potter to serious biogrographies and recently we purchased the entire series of left behind. Certainly our tastes are not as much multiple as eclectic. On the wall are numerous pictures, one that has been hand painted of a empty cross with light and colours, done by a close friend and i loved it so much we bought it. We have numerous old fashioned pictures and of course our beloved picnic scene by Phillip fox. Also on our wall is the portraits taken a few years ago of us in three pictures. When people see them they often asks who is in each picture most people take a step back when we say they are all us. Anyone who knows we are multiple seem to stare for ages, others walk ways perplexed.

We made a decision after leaving our ex that we would make it our room our space and our safety and we have managed to keep it that way. when we go to bed each night the alters want to come out and be safe. After so many years of not being safe its about time they had at least that.

Josie