Before i we explain today's therapy session a lot of people have asked what we doing for xmas. Tomorrow we work before heading off to our best friends place where the kids and i will stay the night before i head off to work again yes thats right im working xmas day boxing day, the day after then news years eve, new years, and the few days after that. My lunch will be at two at my friends place before we head home and apparently the kids nomadic father is actually turning up to take his kids for a few days. Im hoping in that few days he has the kids we can truly start processing the last few days of our therapy.
Todays therapy session was called to complete a journey we started with rachel about a week ago. In the last few days we have thought at lot but its been very intellectual not so much emotional. Ive wondered if perhaps we got so damn broken emotions just didnt have time to stick around and even come back. there was a definite decision a few days ago that some form of integration occur but as always we can never pre empt what might or might not happen. We asked Noel to come along again, its a strange thing for us but we see Noel as a spiritual advisor/facilitator and Rachel is of course the therapist. Since the craziness with Acantha we have deliberately separated the spiritual with therapy. When we ask Noel to come its because we feel that Noel is the right person to minister communion, it is a personal thing for us.
In the last integration we have found the deeper need for a spiritual concept to be put in. I think the evil that we have seen and felt we need to overcome with good and for us good is represented in the one thing the cult spent years trying to reform us in and that is communion. For us we stopped taking communion in church about fifteen years ago, we found the superficial ignorant preconceptions of how pure you must be first and how you must pray this prayer and that and prepare your heart and all that religious stuff got us confused and we felt sucked back into cult thinking of earning rewards rather than just accepting they occur without all the things we need to do.
I have a belief that for us as a system if we ask to take communion its because its important for us to do and it is and always will be moments of deep healing. Perhaps its our way of sticking it up the cult but whatever it is it works for us. Today was no exception. Before the seven alters there was one alter who original saw some things no seven year old should. From her came seven new alters, as each one poke the other day they had only one wish and that was to to not be separate anymore once they got better/healed. So today the original one who had no name came and sat, she kept talking about holes in her body, and that all she wanted was the holes to be fixed. It took me a while to realise that the holes in her body were the mental/.emotional holes that were left from the splits. As communion was taken these holes were covered over as each alter came back into her body she relieved from the terrible scars and integration from six alters to one took place.
unfortunately the seventh alters has not been ready and when we see rachel again in the new year we will think about how to help her then. But perhaps there is a certain cautiousness taking place i believe that time was a enemy today in that noel and i had little of it but i also feel that time was meant to have gone that fast because throughout this healing journey seven bit by bit opened her little eyes and i started to see some clarity. I believe seven needs time and so time she has been given. but its more than that this also involves i believe a far deeper and more precise healing and that seven needs her voice for that.
As for the original she now has a name its special to her and she chose it for a special little girl who like herself had many holes but the other little girl has ended up in heaven having passed away from cancer, she too was seven years old. I know that the system ha vent had a chance to grieve for what has gone on and that worries me. I have learnt from previous internalization that can be a dangerous thing for us but i also appreciate that this will come.
Over the next few weeks i know we will have more to say but for now we are left withe the dawning understanding of what is meant when they say god is truly a great sculpture he must have been to help put those alters back together.
jip-etal
Todays therapy session was called to complete a journey we started with rachel about a week ago. In the last few days we have thought at lot but its been very intellectual not so much emotional. Ive wondered if perhaps we got so damn broken emotions just didnt have time to stick around and even come back. there was a definite decision a few days ago that some form of integration occur but as always we can never pre empt what might or might not happen. We asked Noel to come along again, its a strange thing for us but we see Noel as a spiritual advisor/facilitator and Rachel is of course the therapist. Since the craziness with Acantha we have deliberately separated the spiritual with therapy. When we ask Noel to come its because we feel that Noel is the right person to minister communion, it is a personal thing for us.
In the last integration we have found the deeper need for a spiritual concept to be put in. I think the evil that we have seen and felt we need to overcome with good and for us good is represented in the one thing the cult spent years trying to reform us in and that is communion. For us we stopped taking communion in church about fifteen years ago, we found the superficial ignorant preconceptions of how pure you must be first and how you must pray this prayer and that and prepare your heart and all that religious stuff got us confused and we felt sucked back into cult thinking of earning rewards rather than just accepting they occur without all the things we need to do.
I have a belief that for us as a system if we ask to take communion its because its important for us to do and it is and always will be moments of deep healing. Perhaps its our way of sticking it up the cult but whatever it is it works for us. Today was no exception. Before the seven alters there was one alter who original saw some things no seven year old should. From her came seven new alters, as each one poke the other day they had only one wish and that was to to not be separate anymore once they got better/healed. So today the original one who had no name came and sat, she kept talking about holes in her body, and that all she wanted was the holes to be fixed. It took me a while to realise that the holes in her body were the mental/.emotional holes that were left from the splits. As communion was taken these holes were covered over as each alter came back into her body she relieved from the terrible scars and integration from six alters to one took place.
unfortunately the seventh alters has not been ready and when we see rachel again in the new year we will think about how to help her then. But perhaps there is a certain cautiousness taking place i believe that time was a enemy today in that noel and i had little of it but i also feel that time was meant to have gone that fast because throughout this healing journey seven bit by bit opened her little eyes and i started to see some clarity. I believe seven needs time and so time she has been given. but its more than that this also involves i believe a far deeper and more precise healing and that seven needs her voice for that.
As for the original she now has a name its special to her and she chose it for a special little girl who like herself had many holes but the other little girl has ended up in heaven having passed away from cancer, she too was seven years old. I know that the system ha vent had a chance to grieve for what has gone on and that worries me. I have learnt from previous internalization that can be a dangerous thing for us but i also appreciate that this will come.
Over the next few weeks i know we will have more to say but for now we are left withe the dawning understanding of what is meant when they say god is truly a great sculpture he must have been to help put those alters back together.
jip-etal
WOW. You guys have some intense stuff going on right now! Hang in there, and be gentle with yourselves. US
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