ive been so busy lately. Work is getting busy, we were In the kitchen the other day being trained by the head chef on her job. When we arent doing that we are actually working. We work each weekend and average around 13 - 18 hours a week paid work. It helps with finances but still there is a long way to go.
Ive been going through a process of trying to help the kids with their fathers behaviour. Its now been eight weeks since he saw his kids. Each time he calls it makes the kids hurt more and now its go to the point where two of his children wont get on the phone. he truly cant see the damage hes doing. Its so hard for me to not get so angry at him in front of the kids, hes deserted his family and im at a loss to know why he wants to hurt them so bad.
On the other hand i still sit bewildered at his parents to whom have five grandchildren and although my ex is living with them no one has thought to see the kids. None of them have even called to ask to see them even in the gardens or somewhere. Ive had to now see the doctor and ask for a referral for some family counselling. its a shit situation to be in, perhaps a mothers love for her children differs from a fathers but truly i cant seem to know how.
My trip to NSW and seeing my family has aroused a sense of im missing something. Its brought back memories of childhood abuse, of abandonment and so many questions. There is a family secret that it seems everyone has been trying to prevent me from finding out but i found it out and even though i know im still told to me quiet about it. Perhaps that has triggered the same sense of silence i had to endure as a child.
I hope i can see Rachel this week to talk to her but i am working tomorrow and have had to reschedule so im waiting to hear back. All this week im trailing the head chef which i passionately love and in five weeks i graduate with my chefs hat.
As for Acantha ive sought legal advice and know what i need to do. But i did receive a few calls this week all trying to explain why they did nothing im yet to hear a good explanation why they continued to employ an abuser when they knew that was what she was. Somehow i guess someone will tell me.
Jip-etal
Maybe you are expecting too much from your ex. He has nothing but pain to give, I wouldn't expect anything from him or wait for his parents to call. Forget them and turn your attention to being with your kids and moving forward. It is wonderful that you are about to graduate - what a wonderful example you are giving your children!
ReplyDeleteyou hang in there, guys. you will figure out every step as you trust yourselves to continue to move forward. you guys are DAMN good parents! Good job! So proud of you for being parents, going to school and working! Amazing healing! Keep fighting...you are doing PHENOMINALLY. Really. <3
ReplyDeleteus
Ex husband can turn it on and off so fast. Mine would go months and months with out a word to his kids. Before Chris' died he did start to write him. A little late. He still has no contact with Alice. Just remember you all are a great Mom. You fill their needs as no one else can. You are the greatest. Just continue to love those "babies". That is the important thing.
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